Our Mobile Marriage Bootcamp - Part 1 of 2
Mari
I promised when I first started this blog I’d share all the gory details - no holds barred!! Well, these past ten days have been a wee bit challenging, but hopefully we’re on the other side of the hump.
We were about to celebrate our seventh wedding anniversary on Valentine’s Day. But, the night before I must’ve eaten something that didn’t agree with me, or picked up a bug, as I got very, very sick and basically had to "cancel" Valentine’s Day! I hadn’t been that sick in about ten years.
[Photo: Ty and I on Feb 14 '01 outside the County Admin Building, Seaport Village, San Diego.]
Now, I don’t know what your metaphysical beliefs are, but for me, anytime something troubles my physical body, I look up my trusty Louise Hay book, You Can Heal Your Life.
I immediately saw a correlation with some big issues Ty had recently shared and my reactions to them. My mentor coach calls them "the undiscussables." The things buried underneath the surface. The stuff you hope will just go away… but never does without proper communication and redesign.
Previously on this blog, I’d talked about our different styles of road trip planning here: He Says, She Says: Road Trip Planning and revealed some additional insights earlier at: Nobody Told Us The Simple Life Takes Work!
And now, I’d like to share my Top Ten Rules About Marriage and Living Full Time in a Motorhome. 
Here’s the first five. Next post will have the second five.
- Dramatically increase your acceptance of each other. Motorhome living magnifies everything! There’s nowhere to hide. You and your partner are forced to be completely transparent in all your day-to-day functions and activities. Keep this in mind, allow space for each other, and raise your tolerance levels!
- Your marriage must be strong prior to embarking on an extended RV journey together. Because of the magnification described in Rule #1, if there are any cracks in the foundation of your relationship, you will definitely be put to the test.
- Take time to deliberately be apart. You’re going to be with your spouse pretty much 24/7. But as marriage expert, Esther Perel, advises, you must have separate time too. This is what feeds your passion and keeps the spark alive: the anticipation and missing of one another.
- Agree on a general plan, and let the details fill in. Depending on your respective styles of organizing, you may want a tight plan or a more fluid one. If you find yourself becoming attached to a particular plan against your spouse’s wish, look inside to see why it’s so important. I love what Dr. Wayne Dyer says, "Have a mind that’s open to everything, and attached to nothing."
- Have at least some predictable routines. Though road trips can be free-flowing and adventurous by their very nature, when you’re living full time on the road–and running a business to boot–it’s important to carve out specific times for work, appointments, calls, time on the internet, etc. as I wrote about here.
P.S. We’re currently enjoying a relaxing stay at Rancho Jurupa - a vast Riverside County Park. Plenty great bike trails, wide open spaces and very tame ducks and geese! Video coming soon.
Book recommendations from this post:
What impact do you think extended RV travels would have on your marriage?
Posted on: Wednesday, February 20, 2008 at 6:39 pm 
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Great topic!
Jim and I worked together for 10 years before embarking on our journey, so we knew eachother’s quirks pretty well. But I can see how a couple that’s not used to spending so much time together might have a hard time adjusting to living life in such a small space.
My biggest piece of advice when it comes to RV travel is to not do too much planning. I used to be a compulsive planner, but when we hit the road and things didn’t always pan out the way I wanted them to, I would get upset. This affected both of us, and made our day turn bad. After too many times of this happening, I finally gave in. Now, when we’re on the road, we have a general idea where we’re going, but we never create a true itinerary. This leaves room for magic in the travels, and magic in the marriage.
Right now, we are both battling colds. Being sick together in the RV is a whole other story!
February 20th, 2008 at 7:18 pm[...] TOP Links « Our Mobile Marriage Bootcamp - Part 1 of 2 [...]
February 24th, 2008 at 9:32 pmMari -
You hit on some great relationship tips in your Top 10, but my husband, Phil, road warrior extraordinaire and all around humor-man on our year long trip, tells everyone that the MOST important tip to being with your spouse 7X24 for an extended period of time is “to learn how to say ‘yes dear’ in a very genuine and caring way!”
So there you have it from a wise and experienced man…
Carol
March 4th, 2008 at 9:39 amHi Mari,
I couldn’t agree with your Top 5 more! I don’t like traveling with anyone for extended periods because of the issues you discuss. I sometimes have trouble living in the same house with some people!
Traveling together requires patience, understanding and some routines to make sure the pressure can be alleviated.
One day I hope to travel with my partner, like you are, but we have a bit of a way to go.
Charly.
March 7th, 2008 at 7:13 pmMari-
As you may or may not remember, Michael and I planned on getting married Feb 14th and were so excited about our Valentines wedding-but on the 12th I got sick-the flu and by the 14th I looked and felt more dead than alive. We got married on 3/1.
Since then I realized that Mercury retrograde was going on then too. It is finally out of the effects of the “shadow of retrograde” so life can now resume normalcy. Everyone can get WELL NOW! Yippee!
March 9th, 2008 at 7:02 pmOh, and love those “rules”. How handy!
Alexandra